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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One, by Brook Noel
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The grief books that just "gets it".
Each year about eight million Americans suffer the unexpected death of a loved one. For those who face the challenges of sudden death, the classic guide I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye offers a comforting hand to hold, written by two authors who have experienced it firsthand.
Acting as a touchstone of sanity through difficult times, this book covers such difficult topics as:
Featured on ABC World News, Fox and Friends and many other shows, this book has offered solace to over eight thousand people, ranging from seniors to teenagers and from the newly bereaved those who lost a loved one years ago.
An exploration of unexpected death and its role in the cycle of live, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.
Praise for I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye:
"I highly recommend this book, not only to the bereaved, but to friends and counselors as well."― Helen Fitzgerald, author of The Grieving Child, The Mourning Handbook, and The Grieving Teen
"This book, by women who have done their homework on grief... can hold a hand and comfort a soul through grief's wilderness. Outstanding references of where to see other help."― George C. Kandle, Pastoral Psychologist
"Finally, you have found a friend who can not only explain what has just occurred, but can take you by the hand and lead you to a place of healing and personal growth...this guide can help you survive and cope, but even more importantly... heal."― The Rebecca Review
"For those dealing with the loss of a loved one, or for those who want to help someone who is, this is a highly recommended read."―Midwest Book Review
Product details
Paperback: 292 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks; Updated ed. edition (May 1, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781402212215
ISBN-13: 978-1402212215
ASIN: 1402212216
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.8 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
553 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#3,636 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
After five years having passed since the tragic sudden death of my son, the pain is with our family everyday. It does not get better, it just changes. We have read many books, and attended several grieving groups, with mixed results. Although we have survived the first year, we continue to be told that we have "excessive grief" and have been been told that we need to "get over it and move on". Those of us who suffered this tragedy live in a different world and always will. This is one of the few books that absolutely "gets it".
This is one of the best books I have read surrounding the death of a loved one I have read. I personally have lost10 family members in about as many years and this book helped alot in my life. Have lost children, grandchildren,parents, spouse, nieces, sister-in-law, too many to list. At least one a year since 2010 and some years, 2.This book really helped.
My husband went in for a routine test and ended up dying from it. His death was so sudden and so unexpected that I needed something to help me cope. As a writer I just couldn't find my own words to deal. After reading other reviews on this book I knew I needed to order it. I read a chapter a night and it is helping me to cope and to understand that life does go on. It also helps you to understand there is no time limit on grief and no two people will ever grieve the same. Much thanks to the author
Though my mother was sick for many years, her death completely through me off my center of gravity. I'd always (for reasons unknown) suppressed grief in the past so I found myself lost and dumbfounded without a clue as to how I was going to live in the days that followed without the person who'd been there every single day of my life. I am quite spiritual, though not at all religious; this book made no attempt to shove my nose into a bible and tell me to simply "have faith". It somehow gave me permission to grieve, to be angry, and eventually to heal - all on MY terms, rather than those of sometimes insensitive well-wishers. It also gave me the tools to recognize each stage of grief as it happened so I could deal with myself, so to speak.I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye breaks down the different kinds of grief and offers ways to cope with each in an easy-to-read format. I have re-read it a few times and each time, it provides me incredible solace. My only regret is not having read this book immediately following my mother's passing. Doing so would certainly have enabled me to not struggle so much with the overwhelming sadness, anger, and pain. If you've lost someone you love and even if you're close to someone who did, this is THE book that will help you get through the tough times ahead.
I'm in my twenties, and both my parents passed away unexpectedly. Along with a ton of other support, this book has helped me a great deal. I bought it hoping it would quicken my progress of "moving on" from my overwhelming grief. It hasn't helped me "move on" more quickly, it has shown me that my thoughts and emotions are understandable, justified, and common among people that experience all types of unexpected losses.This book puts to rest questions like, 'Is what I'm feeling normal?'; or 'Is how I'm feeling normal?'What this book revealed to me was how much energy I was using by focusing on my inability to 'recover'. That fear of not being able to "get over it". My self-perceived lack of recovery frightened me from exploring and internalizing the details of the tragedy. The concept of a time-frame for "moving on", the book shows, is unhelpful and unhealthy. There's grief, memories, even searing confusion, but all are a piece to the process. The grief I carry with me, I know it must be directly proportional to my parent's love. Instead of running away from those emotions, I now carry them with me. The memories, even the difficult ones, they belong to me. They are defining moments that help me travel this journey.I felt really lost and disconnected for a while, and this book has been a profound and important part of finding myself again.
This book. I love it so much! It has sections so I usually just find the section talking about what I am currently experiencing. I ordered it about a month after my dad passed.. It has been 9 months now and I just love the book.
My husband died in an apparent accident 6 weeks ago - and overall I have found this book very helpful. I have to say, however, that it overestimates the extent to which someone in this situation can expect help from others. I have certainly received emotional support and practical assistance from friends and acquaintances, for which I am very grateful. At the same time, I have also found that a) many individuals and businesses go out of their way to try to extract money from survivors in vulnerable times like this, and I have spent dozens of hours in the last few weeks fighting off these attempts, and b) as a surviving spouse, I am the only person with the authority to handle most business matters related to my husband's passing - so family members can't help, even if they want to, and c) I am still trying to get the state police to give me basic details of their internal report of what happened - so far, to no avail. A book like this would be even more helpful if it would acknowledge these realities and recommend coping strategies.
This book was given to me by a friend after losing my 13 year old son unexpectedly. It helped me know that what I was feeling was normal. For example, it explained that's it's okay to forget for a few minutes, which I felt so guilty for, because a person's brain can't take it all at once. It has to process more slowly. It also let me know what people grieving need, so I have be a better friend to others suffering. I buy this book for everyone I know who loses a loved one suddenly.
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